首发偶发空缺 (临时空缺)-第5章

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Andrew　glanced　around　and　saw　nothing　but　short；　shabby　little　Hope　Street：　two　lines　of　small　terraced　houses。　The　bus　driver　was　leaning　over　to　make　sure　she　was　not　ing。　Andrew　wanted　to　tell　him　to　wait；　because　only　the　previous　week　she　had　burst　from　one　of　those　little　houses　and　e　running　up　the　pavement　（it　had　been　acceptable　to　watch；　because　everyone　had　been　watching）；　and　the　sight　of　her　running　had　been　enough　to　occupy　his　thoughts　for　hours；　but　the　driver　hauled　at　the　big　wheel　and　the　bus　set　off　again。　Andrew　returned　to　his　contemplation　of　the　dirty　window　with　an　ache　in　his　heart　and　in　his　balls。

V
The　small　terraces　in　Hope　Street　had　once　been　labourers’　houses。　Gavin　Hughes　was　shaving　slowly　and　with　unnecessary　care　in　the　bathroom　of　number　ten。　He　was　so　fair；　and　his　beard　so　sparse；　that　the　job　really　only　needed　to　be　done　twice　weekly；　but　the　chilly；　slightly　grubby　bathroom　was　the　only　place　of　sanctuary。　If　he　dawdled　in　here　until　eight；　he　could　plausibly　say　he　needed　to　leave　for　work　immediately。　He　dreaded　having　to　talk　to　Kay。

He　had　only　managed　to　head　off　discussion　the　previous　evening　by　initiating　the　most　prolonged　and　inventive　coupling　they　had　enjoyed　since　the　very　earliest　days　of　their　relationship。　Kay　had　responded　immediately　and　with　unnerving　enthusiasm：　flicking　herself　from　position　to　position；　drawing　up　her　strong；　stocky　legs　for　him；　contorting　like　the　Slavic　acrobat　she　so　closely　resembled；　with　her　olive　skin　and　very　short　dark　hair。　Too　late；　he　had　realized　that　she　was　taking　this　uncharacteristic　act　of　assertion　as　a　tacit　confession　of　those　things　he　was　determined　to　avoid　saying。　She　had　kissed　him　greedily；　he　had　found　her　wet　intrusive　kisses　erotic　when　the　affair　began；　now　he　found　them　vaguely　repellent。　He　took　a　long　time　to　climax；　his　horror　at　what　he　had　started　constantly　threatening　to　deflate　his　erection。　Even　this　worked　against　him：　she　seemed　to　take　his　unusual　stamina　as　a　display　of　virtuosity。

When　at　last　it　was　over；　she　had　cuddled　close　to　him　in　the　darkness　and　stroked　his　hair　for　a　while。　Miserably　he　stared　into　the　void；　aware　that　after　all　his　vague　plans　for　loosening　the　ties；　he　had　involuntarily　tightened　them。　After　she　had　fallen　asleep；　he　had　lain　with　one　arm　trapped　underneath　her；　the　damp　sheet　adhering　unpleasantly　to　his　thigh；　on　a　mattress　lumpy　with　old　springs；　and　wished　for　the　courage　to　be　a　bastard；　to　slip　away　and　never　return。

Kay’s　bathroom　smelt　of　mould　and　damp　sponges。　A　number　of　hairs　were　stuck　to　the　side　of　the　small　bath。　Paint　was　peeling　off　the　walls。

‘It　needs　some　work；’　Kay　had　said。

Gavin　had　been　careful　not　to　volunteer　any　help。　The　things　he　had　not　said　to　her　were　his　talisman　and　safeguard；　he　strung　them　together　in　his　mind　and　checked　them　off　like　beads　on　a　rosary。　He　had　never　said　‘love’。　He　had　never　talked　about　marriage。　He　had　never　asked　her　to　move　to　Pagford。　And　yet；　here　she　was；　and　somehow；　she　made　him　feel　responsible。

His　face　stared　back　at　him　from　out　of　the　tarnished　mirror。　There　were　purple　shadows　under　his　eyes；　and　his　thinning　blond　hair　was　wispy　and　dry。　The　naked　bulb　overhead　lit　the　weak；　goaty　face　with　forensic　cruelty。

Thirty…four；　he　thought；　and　I　look　at　least　forty。

He　lifted　the　razor　and　delicately　strafed　off　those　two　thick　blond　hairs　that　grew　either　side　of　his　prominent　Adam’s　apple。

Fists　pummelled　the　bathroom　door。　Gavin’s　hand　slipped　and　blood　dripped　from　his　thin　neck　to　speckle　his　clean　white　shirt。

‘Your　boyfriend；’　came　a　furious　female　scream；　‘is　still　in　the　bathroom　and　I　am　going　to　be　late！’

‘I’ve　finished！’　he　shouted。

The　gash　stung；　but　what　did　that　matter？　Here　was　his　excuse；　ready…made：　Look　what　your　daughter　made　me　do。　I’ll　have　to　go　home　and　change　my　shirt　before　work。　With　an　almost　light　heart　he　grabbed　the　tie　and　jacket　he　had　hung　over　the　hook　on　the　back　of　the　door；　and　unlocked　it。

Gaia　pushed　past；　slammed　the　door　behind　her　and　rammed　the　lock　home。　Out　on　the　tiny　landing；　which　was　thick　with　an　unpleasant　smell　of　burnt　rubber；　Gavin　remembered　the　headboard　banging　against　the　wall　last　night；　the　creaking　of　the　cheap　pine　bed；　Kay’s　groans　and　yelps。　It　was　easy　to　forget；　sometimes；　that　her　daughter　was　in　the　house。

He　jogged　down　the　carpetless　stairs。　Kay　had　told　him　of　her　plans　to　sand　and　polish　them；　but　he　doubted　that　she　would　ever　do　it；　her　flat　in　London　had　been　shabby　and　in　poor　repair。　In　any　case；　he　was　convinced　that　she　was　expecting　to　move　in　with　him　quite　soon；　but　he　would　not　allow　it；　that　was　the　final　bastion；　and　there；　if　forced；　he　would　make　his　stand。

‘What　have　you　done　to　yourself？’　Kay　squealed；　catching　sight　of　the　blood　on　his　shirt。　She　was　wearing　the　cheap　scarlet　kimono　that　he　did　not　like；　but　which　suited　her　so　well。

‘Gaia　banged　on　the　door　and　made　me　jump。　I’m　going　to　have　to　go　home　and　change。’

‘Oh；　but　I’ve　made　you　breakfast！’　she　said　quickly。

He　realized　that　the　smell　of　burning　rubber　was　actually　scrambled　eggs。　They　looked　anaemic　and　overcooked。

‘I　can’t；　Kay；　I’ve　got　to　change　this　shirt；　I’ve　got　an　early—’

She　was　already　spooning　the　congealed　mass　onto　plates。

‘Five　minutes；　surely　you　can　stay　five—？’

The　mobile　phone　in　his　jacket　pocket　buzzed　loudly　and　he　pulled　it　out；　wondering　whether　he　would　have　the　nerve　to　pretend　that　it　was　an　urgent　summons。

‘Jesus　Christ；’　he　said；　in　unfeigned　horror。

‘What’s　the　matter？’

‘Barry。　Barry　Fairbrother！　He’s　…　fuck；　he’s　…　he’s　dead！　It’s　from　Miles。　Jesus　Christ。　Jesus　fucking　Christ！’

She　laid　down　the　wooden　spoon。

‘Who’s　Barry　Fairbrother？’

‘I　play　squash　with　him。　He’s　only　forty…four！　Jesus　Christ！’

He　read　the　text　message　again。　Kay　watched　him；　confused。　She　knew　that　Miles　was　Gavin’s　partner　at　the　solicitor’s；　but　had　never　been　introduced　to　him。　Barry　Fairbrother　was　no　more　than　a　name　to　her。

There　came　a　thunderous　banging　from　the　stairs：　Gaia　was　stamping　as　she　ran。

‘Eggs；’　she　stated；　at　the　kitchen　door。　‘Like　you　make　me　every　morning。　Not。　And　thanks　to　him；’　with　a　venomous　look　at　the　back　of　Gavin’s　head；　‘I’ve　probably　missed　the　bloody　bus。’

‘Well；　if　you　hadn’t　spent　so　long　doing　your　hair；’　Kay　shouted　at　the　figure　of　her　retreating　daughter；　who　did　not　respond；　but　stormed　down　the　hall；　her　bag　bouncing　off　the　walls；　and　slammed　the　front　door　behind　her。

‘Kay；　I’ve　got　to　go；’　said　Gavin。

‘But　look；　I’ve　got　it　all　ready；　you　could　have　it　before—’

‘I’ve　got　to　change　my　shirt。　And；　shit；　I　did　Barry’s　will　for　him；　I’ll　need　to　look　it　out。　No；　I’m　sorry；　I’ve　got　to　go。　I　can’t　believe　it；’　he　added；　rereading　Miles’　text。　‘I　can’t　believe　it。　We　only　played　squash　on　Thursday。　I　can’t　–　Jesus。’

A　man　had　died；　there　was　nothing　she　could　say；　not　without　putting　herself　in　the　wrong。　He　kissed　her　briefly　on　her　unresponsive　mouth；　and　then　walked　away；　up　the　dark　narrow　hall。

‘Will　I　see　you—？’

‘I’ll　call　you　later；’　he　shouted　over　her；　pretending　not　to　hear。

Gavin　hurried　across　the　road　to　his　car；　gulping　the　crisp；　cold　air；　holding　the　fact　of　Barry’s　death　in　his　mind　like　a　phial　of　volatile　liquid　that　he　dare　not　agitate。　As　he　turned　the　key　in　the　ignition；　he　imagined　Barry’s　twin　daughters　crying；　face　down　in　their　bunk　beds。　He　had　seen　them　lying　like　that；　one　above　the　other；　each　playing　on　a　Nintendo　DS；　when　he　passed　the　door　of　their　bedroom　the　very　last　time　he　had　gone　round　for　dinner。

The　Fairbrothers　had　been　the　most　devoted　couple　he　knew。　He　would　never　eat　at　their　house　again。　He　used　to　tell　Barry　how　lucky　he　was。　Not　so　lucky　after　all。

Someone　was　ing　down　the　pavement　towards　him；　in　a　panic　that　it　was　Gaia；　ing　to　shout　at　him　or　to　demand　a　lift；　he　reversed　too　hard　and　hit　the　car　behind　him：　Kay’s　old　Vauxhall　Corsa。　The　passer…by　drew　level　with　his　window；　and　was　revealed　to　be　an　emaciated；　hobbling　old　woman　in　carpet　slippers。　S